The Christian Approach? I think not!

I have a lovely daughter in law. She is Filipino and wouldn’t hurt a fly. She is sensitive and kind and supporting my step son in Cambodia while he works in the hospital, helping those less fortunate than himself.

There is a man named Lindsay Clarke. He is Australian. Lindsay Clark from my experience, is not sensitive and far from kind. I want to tell you about them both because they have a connection which is not only cruel but ‘apparently’ driven by faith and a devotion to Christianity.

This is the story. I hate unfairness, injustice and ignorance and this smacks of all three.

My daughter-in-law was visiting her favourite café in Siem Reap Cambodia last Wednesday. It is one we frequent often when I am there. She was with her two year old son, my grandson, who loves ‘The Blue Pumpkin’ very much, and especially their mango shake. Suddenly, out of the blue a young man came and grabbed her shopping bag. She was terrified and so was her son. The man was pulling the bag so hard that he was twisting her arm. Fearful of what he may do next she let go of the bag. She called for help but no one came to her rescue. The Khmer people are peaceful and have suffered much in the past and they may have been afraid to intervene. At this point another young man came and began videoing the incident. My daughter-in-law was confused, scared, and hanging onto her child who was crying in fear. A few minutes later some Cambodian women and a young American girl named Susan DeTroy came laughing and giggling in front of her. My daughter-in-law was now shaking and my grandson was hysterical. They told her they were grabbing the bag and videoing   a drama for training purposes for their organisation. My daughter-in-law became very angry, not understanding why they would pick on a mother and a child to use for fun and training, inflicting pain in the process. They never asked her consent to video her and her child. Can you imagine if that happened in England? At first they wouldn’t tell her the name of their organisation claiming they couldn’t remember it and asked her why she was making such a big deal. Fortunately, my stepson was working at the hospital close by and he came with another professional person and suddenly Susan DeTroy could remember everything. They quickly apologised. They said they thought she was Khmer (Cambodian). As though to harass a Cambodian woman would have been acceptable, but surely to harass anyone is unacceptable.

Now, here is where Mr Lindsay Clarke comes in. The organisation they worked for was a Christian one. Christian? I don’t know about you but this isn’t what I thought Christians do. Tell me if you know differently. My daughter-in-law is now too embarrassed to return to ‘The Blue Pumpkin’ and my grandson has been traumatised. Yes, they will get over it but was it necessary? And this is in the name of religion?

So, let’s go back to Mr Lindsay Clarke, who is he exactly? He is the CEO and founder of this organisation who hopes very much that any blog posting of mine will send a lot of traffic to his website, and feels that Susan DeTroy and her colleagues did nothing wrong. Of course this is not what he told me. I emailed Mr Clarke with my concerns. Here is my email verbatim.

Subject: Assault in Siem Reap

Lindsay Clarke

I urge you to respond to this email to explain the disgraceful actions of your organisation before I take further steps… My daughter in law was assaulted by members of your staff in Siem Reap city centre, (Cambodia) outside ‘The Blue Pumpkin’ café. She was with her two year old son and they had their bag grabbed and were videotaped without consent. It was not until later when my step son who works in the hospital in Siem Reap, confronted them did they admit who they worked for… YOU, and said it was for training purposes.

The member of your staff who was confronted was American and apparently named Sue or Susan and was said to be on a Gap year. There were others involved who were Khmer.  In my opinion it would be prudent of you to terminate her time with you and her team as she is discrediting your organisation and Christianity as a whole.

 I am a British novelist and freelance writer with a large readership and following on the internet. I have no qualms to bring this to people’s attention. It is disgraceful to do this kind of thing to people on the streets on Cambodia. They told my daughter in law that they thought she was Khmer (she is Filipino). This makes me think that you consider it acceptable to harass Khmer people. How disgraceful of you. My daughter in law has been left very shaken by this incident especially as your team seemed to find it funny. This time it seems you chose the wrong person and I look forward to your response regarding your very obvious racism and abusive behaviour in this particular case and how you justify it in the name of Christianity.

 Regards

 Lynda Renham-Cook and Dr Andrew Cook

I cc’d everyone in the organisation and included my husband Andrew Cook. Mr Clarke’s response to me was.

‘Thanks for your email Lynda.

If you would like a phone call from one of our senior team please let me know and we shall arrange it.

Regards

 Lindsay Clarke CEO & Founder

However, he sent a completely different email to his team. How do we know this? Mr Clarke ‘replied to all’ not realising my husband was on the cc list. The following email is what Mr Clarke really feels.

  ‘Hi Team,

No one responds to this email, especially you Susan. No need to:) 

I won’t say what I really think on email but basically go for it Lady the publicity will drive traffic to our web site. Oh! Except she doesn’t get any more blog likes that any of us. Check for yourself!!!

So for those not in the info loop, hardly anything this women said is accurate and I will on this occasion not run with her advice, so Susan is going nowhere, didn’t do anything wrong and is fully supported by our team and particularly me. We at ****don’t react we pro act.

Hope you are all having a brilliant week.

Pray for each other and enjoy the journey.

Grace

Honor

 Lindsay Clarke CEO & Founder  

So Mr Clarke (pictured above) thinks there is nothing wrong in assaulting young women with young children on the streets of Cambodia.

Susan response was.

Subject: Re: Assault in Siem Reap

Thanks for the support guys

-Susan 

To be fair Susan is young and we all make mistakes. However we wanted her to be aware that people have feelings and that her actions were not the right way to promote Christianity. We hoped for a response as it would have shown she had some integrity. We have not had a response to date. This was my husband’s email to her.

‘Hi Susan

One of my favourite quotes is from Micah 6 verse 8, which reads, “What does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” To me this and the teaching of Jesus on compassion and love for others encapsulates true Christianity. As you are working for a Christian organisation in Cambodia I assume we share the same understanding on this, and we both want to live our lives on this foundation. The reason I am writing to you is to share something that I am troubled with. I am writing to you as the Father-in-law of ***** the mother with the two year old child that you met last Wednesday. ***** is a lovely but sensitive woman who is working hard to support her husband who is on a placement with the main hospital in Siem Reap. She is like any other woman in that she is worthy of respect and love, and the fact that she has an Asian background does not diminish this fact.  Your actions last Wednesday have disturbed her a lot to the extent that she is now uncomfortable to venture into Siem Reap centre. She feels embarrassed and that she has been made a fool of. You may think she is over-reacting but you don’t know her, or her background. It really is very insensitive of Lindsay Clarke to minimise the incident and email you saying No one responds to this email, especially you Susan. No need to . There actually is a need for a genuine response. ***** was very upset by your conduct with her and by your refusal to give the name of the organisation you work for, and that you only were able to remember this when my Son arrived. Are you really happy, before God, with your conduct?

I know that you have been told that you cannot respond to first email, and therefore I don’t expect a response from this. I only hope that you think about what you are doing and ask yourself if your work with ****** is bringing good to the people you are in contact with. I found Mr Clarke’s email to you (he accidentally included me in the c.c. list) very disturbing for a Christian organisation, but that’s another story.

I hope you enjoy your time in Cambodia. It is a beautiful country with lovely people – please be good to them!

Dr Andrew Cook & Lynda Renham-Cook

 

But what Mr Clarke does not know is that I am not going to mention his stupid website with his oversized donate button. You can find that for yourself if you are so interested. But I have published his email to show he supports racism, and unsolicited videoing of women and children to highlight his work, which he describes as ‘Christianity’.

Change of Blog

Hi all,

From this point onwards all my blog posting and photos about Cambodia will be featured here

http://open.salon.com/blog/roisencara

I have decided to start a separate blog about my experiences in Cambodia and keep this one for the humourous daily happenings in my life.

I will also be setting up a new blog for my photography.

Stay posted and for those interested in Cambodia then please follow me on open salon.

Thank you.
xx

Things we take for granted

Some of you may remember my posts on Cambodia. But those of you who don’t or who didn’t read them the first time around, here are the links.
http://lrcook.wordpress.com/2012/04/03/making-a-difference/ http://lrcook.wordpress.com/2012/07/20/1734/
I am returning to Siem Reap on March 15th. To say I am excited is an understatement. I shall be visiting the Childrens Sanctuary and taking what summer clothes I can to help them out there.
Clothes are always needed. Children grow so fast and money is limited. Although the Sanctuary receives donations and sponsorship, there are always things needed. Sadly there will always be children needing help in Cambodia.
I will have limited space but am happy to take anything that you can offer.
Summer clothes are what is needed. Winter clothing is no good there as it is always hot. Even during the rainy season it is hot.
Please contact me if you have anything you can offer. You can email me at cambodia@renham.co.uk

Lynda
x

The Call of the Gecko

At eight a.m. I walked out of the apartment where I am staying into a sudden blast of hot air, smoke and the strong smell of frying pork. It is rush hour. I manage to hail a local tuk tuk driver and ask him to take me to the children’s hospital. He looks at me blankly. I fumble around in my bag to find the scrap of paper with the hospital logo printed on it. Meanwhile the sounds of construction pound around me making my head throb. Everywhere I look new buildings are shooting up and there is no rest from the noise, the dust, and the shouts of the builders. They work all week from 7 in the morning until 6 at night.

The local builders smile and salute me

There is no weekend breaks. Dust flies into my eyes and I feel myself becoming irritated with myself for not being more organised with my travel arrangements. I didn’t sleep well the night before. The temperature in my room all night had been 34c and the humidly was about 80%. The only air conditioning I had was a ceiling fan which is not very efficient. To top it all a gecko (lizard) kept waking me up with its call. The people here are very superstitious about geckos. Old people believe that having a gecko inside the house is lucky. They believe that geckos are relations that have died and been reborn to look after their children but if you hear a gecko cry four times in a row it means something bad will happen in the family, possibly death. Listen to the gecko cry here. Annoying isn’t it
I’m feeling exhausted and the day has barely begun. I feel a headache looming and realise I have no painkillers on me plus I have forgotten my umbrella. I couldn’t be more disorganised if I tried. It is the rainy season and the last thing I need is to be caught out yet again. I have already been caught in two downpours. I never learn.
‘You want Provincial hospital,’ the tuk tuk driver asks.
‘No, I want the children’s hospital,’ I say finally finding the scrap of paper I need which I thrust towards him.
Several other tuk tuk drivers are now descending on me having realised that my driver has no idea where I want to go.
‘Ah, yes. I take you,’ he says on seeing the paper.
I resist the impulse to scratch the mosquito bites that are now irritating me like mad. I am also perspiring profusely and it has only been fifteen minutes since my shower. I feel hot and the insect repellent makes me feel sticky. Dengue fever is rife in Cambodia at the moment and I am constantly advised to cover myself in repellent although I have been bitten so many times that I am beginning to think it is a total waste of time and money. If I don’t go home with dengue fever it will be nothing short of a miracle. But no matter how many bites I have or how hot it becomes there is something about Cambodia that draws me back like a magnet and I know before I even leave that I will return as soon as I can. My tuk tuk driver weaves his way in and out of the morning traffic. Cyclists cut across us and motorbikes carrying whole families shoot past us. The pungent smell of cooking spices assault me and my head seems to throb more.

‘Can we stop at a pharmacy,’ I shout above the traffic noise.
‘Yes, Mam, we do that.’
At the pharmacy I try to explain that I have a headache and need something for the tension in my neck. It is like walking into a Doctor’s dispensary. Whatever you need they have. I am offered high dose codeine for my pain. I refuse, attempting to explain I want something to ease the muscle pain. She offers me Valium and then a stronger dose of Codeine. At least I know which pharmacy to come to if I want to get high later. Again I refuse and I spot some tiger balm and attempt to explain that I want something similar to this to put on my neck. She finally gives me several cool patches to place on my neck. I ask for aspirin and end up with Advil. Still it is better than nothing. I buy a face cleanser and rush back to my tuk tuk driver. It seems in Cambodia any drug is available if you don’t mind taking the risk. I’m not sure the Advil will work but I take it anyway.
We arrive at the hospital and I am stunned to see hundreds of families with crying babies already queuing at the entrance. They stare hopefully at me as I alight from my tuk tuk and walk through the gates. Many of the children are clasping stale pieces of bread or suckling at their mother’s breasts. The security guard tells me they have been there since six am. I follow the guard to the admin office feeling hundreds of eyes on me. We pass a makeshift ward, a play area which has quickly been transformed. Mattresses cover the floor and men and women lay quietly on them. These patients have been moved to make space for a dengue Fever ward. The rainy season has caused a large outbreak of the fever and already Cambodia has reported 4,434 dengue fever cases in the first five months of this year. From January to May 2012, the disease killed 21 children. In adults the fever is uncomfortable but not fatal but in young children, especially those already malnourished the fever can be fatal.
The admin lady tells me she will take me to the CB offices. I have no idea what CB is.
I am struggling to control my annoyance at the organisation of these people. I have been here almost ten days and still they have not decided what is it they want me to do. It is now considered that CBHEP (Capacity Building and Health Education Program) has greater need of me. As time goes on I am beginning to understand that organisation is not the Cambodian people’s best quality. At least it is lovely and cool here though and I am grateful for that.
In the offices of CBHEP an Italian volunteer bombards me with information that I feel my head spin even more.
‘Do not worry if everything seems confusing, there is plenty of time,’ he tells me. ‘In the meantime can you please work on our nutritional programme and update another document on CB?’
I fight back the urge to tell him that in fact there isn’t plenty of time and that ten days have already been wasted. Although I did manage a wonderful trip to Battembang, so their loss was my gain. Instead I return his grin and allow myself to be given another visit of the hospital and assure them the work will be done that afternoon. I leave and walk to The Peace Café which is becoming my favourite place to rest. They offer cooking lessons in Khmer and I begin to wonder if I have time to do this. I check my dollars while drinking my peanut butter yum yum. I cannot recommend this café enough. If you ever visit Siem Reap be sure to look them up. They also hold yoga and meditation classes. The temptation to attend one of these has been overwhelming but there is so much to do here that it is impossible to fit everything in. Do visit here for a drink I can assure you that you will not regret it.

With my friend Sochenda at the peace cafe

Annoyingly I find that one twenty-dollar bill has a small tear in it. Here in Cambodia no shop or restaurant will accept a note with even a small rip in it. I now have to hope that I can maybe get the guy at the local supermarket to take it. So far he has been very good with me and has offered to change a few torn ones for me. But I’m aware there is a limit to how often I can ask.

My local supermarket. Two mins from the apartment

I have managed to form a good relationship now with a tuk tuk driver who works outside the apartment where I am staying with my stepson. I call him from my Cambodian mobile and ask if he can take me to a second-hand bookshop and then onto Mekong quilts. Someone had recommended the quilt shop to me when I was in Battembang and I decide I will visit there first and then go home to work on the documents. I’m thrilled I did. What a fabulous place.

The quilts

My daughter in law phones and tells me she has booked me into the hairdressers for the next day. I am to have my hair straightened. I have always wanted this done in England but it was always far too expensive. The excitement of finally having some work to do coupled with the anticipation of visiting Mekong quilts and having my hair done, quickly wakes me up. In irritation I had felt with the hospital staff quickly passes.
There is no doubt about it. I love this country called Cambodia.

Links.
The Peace Cafe
Mekong Quilts
Angkor hospital for children

A little girl named Pesai

I have so many things to put on this blog. I just wish there was as many hours as there are ideas and stories. There is nothing better than sharing with others.
My most exciting news I have been saving for this very post. Although more fun things to follow. I always intend to post more regularly but it never happens. So, when something exciting and lovely happens I just want to share with all my lovely Blogger friends.
Two weeks ago I got notification that I have successfully sponsored little Pesai at the Children’s Sanctuary in Siem Reap, in Cambodia. You may also remember that I am returning to Siem Reap in a matter of weeks to work at the Angkor hospital for Children and while there I will return to the orphanage. I have already packed loads of goodies to take with me. Spinning tops and books and lots more. I am so excited.
Pesai, and you can see her pictured here, sings very loudly I am told. I’m not alone in that then I have controlled myself with the pictures you will be glad to hear.
Pesai was found with her sister living with their elderly Grandparents. Her Grandmother was dying and her Grandfather was unable to care for them all. Pesai’s father fled to Thailand when she was an infant and her mother, a drug user, was no longer able to keep her children. She abandoned Pisey when she was one year old. Pisey has been integrated into CSI’s care since 2008. She has been commencing her pre-school at Future Bright International School.
The stories are not much different for all the children at the Sanctuary. Some children still need sponsoring and if you can help please do contact the sanctuary. You can make such a difference to a child’s life. You don’t have to sponsor to make a difference. A donation is always gratefully received. I hope to be arranging a fun fund raiser when I return. Very much a blogging affair, so do join in when I do.
You can learn more about the children and the Sanctuary here.

A holiday in a Bangkok jail. Well, almost…

I should have known a trip to a place like Cambodia would not go without a hitch. After all I am Lynda Renham-Cook right? I expect you have been waiting for me to dish the dirt. Well, here it is.
The question is where do I start? Okay, let us start at the beginning. After all it is a very good place to start isn’t it? But which story first? The Construction work or negotiating the monks loo? Possibly the best one was when the boat we went in to visit the floating village started to sink.

Our sinking boat

Oh, I feel myself shudder at the memory. Or maybe the story of the German who insisted I download his document on my computer.
‘You vill download,’ he had snapped. Okay a slight exaggeration but when have I not exaggerated? Better still is the story of the two weddings we got involved in and how I ate A Cow’s stomach. But I am straying away from the beginning as usual in my excitement to share all.
I started the holiday with a massive headache, which I still have now actually. It came and went on and off for most of the holiday. So, if anyone knows a cure for these constant headaches, do let me know as my body is taking a hell of a battering from painkillers. Talking of which I went to Cambodia packed like someone who was delivering medical aid, except the medicines were all for me. Andrew took one look at the suitcase and sighed.
‘Did you forget I was coming too,’ he said caustically. Okay maybe not caustically. More with a sardonic smile I suppose. ‘You’re supposed to take a first aid kit, not a first aid suitcase.’
Honestly, such sarcasm from my husband when all I am doing is being cautious.
‘Well, we will need another suitcase anyway for the Christmas presents,’ I argued. He picks up my three toiletries bags and sighs. Yes, okay, so I took a lot of pills with me. But you can’t be too cautious in a place like Asia can you? The web page even advises us to take toilet roll as they apparently don’t use it out there. What they do use I dare not think about really.
‘My son still uses it I hope. As we are staying with him I imagine there will be some.’ Andrew argues.
I am about to tell him that maybe his son cannot purchase toilet paper and that who knows what new habits he has acquired now but I stay quiet and just insist we do not take any chances. So I pack every pill in sight. I’m not going to go down with a stomach upset, I say. Famous last words. So, finally we are ready for the off, with enough toilet roll to bring down the plane. Talking of planes, what fun we had at the airports. We arrive in Bangkok after flying for ten hours and go in search of our luggage. Of course, I presumed it would just go straight on to Cambodia with us but it seems BA did not arrange it that way. We discover to fetch our luggage means we have to check out of the airport even though we have a connecting flight. This takes forever and our eye is constantly on the clock. We go through three passport control ports and each ones takes almost thirty minutes. We get lost and I feel my head throb even more. I am bursting for the loo but we don’t have time to stop. It’s just that in Bangkok I think they have toilet roll. We finally trace our luggage, grab it and fly to the next security check. By now I am so fed up that when the alarms go off I am almost expecting it.
‘Open the bag please,’ demands the official.
I frantically try to remember what is in my hand luggage. Are there medications in there too? Oh my word, I won’t get thrown into Bangkok Hilton will I, for carrying Co-Codamol? I feel my heart thumping as I open the bag. What other pills did I pack? I find myself looking around for dogs. With shaking hands I open the bag and watch with a thudding heart as they open the small make up bag. Visions of shackles on my hands and legs float through my mind and I quickly try to remember my solicitor’s name and then realise I don’t have one. I feel faint and quickly close my eyes. I open them to see the man holding up my tube of Nivea cream. Oh, what a relief. He pops it into a bag and ticks me off. But thank God, I am not going to prison in Bangkok. I smile at Andrew and grab his hand so we can quickly escape. Ten minutes later we are heading past Duty free on our way to our connecting flight when Andrew asks.
‘Where is your hand luggage?’
What! Oh no!
‘I left it at the security desk,’ I squeal, already legging it back. I mean, honestly. Only I would do something so stupid. We heave a deep sigh of relief to find it is still there and Andrew gives me a ‘What is wrong with you,’ look. I just shrug.
Two hours later and we are on our flight to Siem Reap in Cambodia. On the plane I debate whether to eat the food I am given. I read that the water is poisonous and can kill you. As for the food, well let’s just say I was preparing myself to lose weight rather than risk the food. An overpowering thirst wins, however and the water goes down along with the ominous looking sandwiches, which I figure I may as well eat now seeing as I have drunk the deadly water, along with two painkillers. One hour later and we arrive. The hot air hits me instantly and my head throbs even more. I will be glad to climb into the taxi and drive to James apartment. He meets us and directs us to our transport. Good lord, what is this. He surely does not expect us to get into a small rickshaw thing with our luggage and everything? Yes he does, oh my goodness. We all climb into the Tuk Tuk and I try not to cry out as my foot gets cramp. We seem to fly along the main roads, the dust flying into my eyes. I am sure I whimper as the wind whips at my face making my head throb even more. Good god what am I doing in this God forsaken country?
‘Are you okay?’ asks Andrew adding before I can reply. ‘It’s great isn’t it?’
Oh yes, fab.
‘The Tuk tuk is the only way around,’ says James.
Is it? Oh dear. I would later come to love the Tuk Tuk and the Tuk Tuk drivers who waited outside the apartment. I would come to adore the food. In fact I would come to adore Cambodia so much that the wish to return becomes unbearable. But as usual, I digress. Twenty minutes later we arrive at James apartment and in the dark I cannot see the outside very well but the inside is lovely and guess what? he has toilet paper and an en suite bathroom too. We have an oversized bed, air conditioning and plenty of bottled water. Perfect, except we also have a construction site next door.
‘Oh, that won’t be a problem,’ I say.
Why are there a lot of famous words in this here post? Off to bed we go, exhausted and already feeling some jet lag. The next day is the beginning of our holiday and is Boxing Day. We will open our presents and then go into town later for a look around and to get some dinner. Of course, the construction work won’t be going on, not on Boxing Day so it should be peaceful. More famous last words. I soon learn there are no holidays in Cambodia, only work. I wake to banging and drilling. A holiday nightmare. I tell myself it can’t get any worse…
TO BE CONTINUED.