Things do pass and congrats to my ex.

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With my  Mother in law.

 

 

Sixteen years ago I considered ending my life. A nice Samaritan at the other end of the phone kindly saved me. This will surprise many people I’m sure. I was in a marriage that was so unhealthy for me. I’d reached the stage where I could not consider continuing with it. I was badly in need of stimulation, companionship and much more. I was severely stressed and feeling terribly alone. Everyone seemed to have the one thing I wanted. A loving and stable relationship. This is not to say the man I was married to was a bad man, he was simply very much the wrong man. There are times in life when you really think this will not pass. That it will always be this way. It won’t.

I remember my mother asking if everything was okay as I looked so awful. I said everything was fine. I was on a search for the way out of the marriage but had no money, nowhere to go and nobody to confide in apart from a few friends who didn’t really understand why I was so unhappy with such a kind man. But it doesn’t matter how kind the man seems to everyone else if the relationship is unhealthy then you are desperately unhappy. I don’t feel the need to say in what way it was unhealthy but it was destroying me. There are times in your life when you feel there is no way out. That was my time.

Until … One day I just upped and left. I had nothing. I left everything behind. I started again. It was the hardest but the most rewarding time of my life. I found myself and I eventually found a man the total opposite to the man I had previously married. I rebuilt my life.

Today my ex husband is getting married again and I’m very happy for him. I’m thrilled that he like me has gone on to find happiness with a partner far more suited to him than I ever was. I don’t regret the 19 years we spent together. But sometimes wish I’d found the strength to leave earlier. But there is a time for everything. I may not have met my current husband had it been a different time.

Happy New Year to you all.

Love Lynda xxx

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16 thoughts on “Things do pass and congrats to my ex.

  1. Thanks for sharing Lynda. I can relate, especially to what you said about “no money, nowhere to go and nobody to confide in apart from a few friends who didn’t really understand why I was so unhappy with such a kind man”.

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  2. Words I can total understand, suicide and all. Mine won’t be the same but I truly understand, I am grateful for both of my marriages that I ended up leaving. For without them I wouldn’t have the strength I have today – I am happier now than I have ever been in my life. I now do a daily positive thinking video on my group on Facebook. It is my joy, my complete fulfilment to be able to pas it in to those who are ready to listen – bless you Lynda from a positive, daft FB friend

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  3. What a lovely post – this time 6 years ago I was in the same situation, having struggled through for far more years than I should have I moved out with only my clothes and started over. I will never forget the sheer relief of that first night on my own and like you I wish my ex every happiness as he was the wrong man for me.

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  4. Well done Lynda on finding the courage to leave. Like you, it took me twenty years to leave an unhealthy relationship and now couldn’t be happier. So true that nothing lasts forever but it’s hard to see it at the time x

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  5. I think there is a time for everything, and I’m glad things lined up for you to meet Andrew. The fact that you can be happy for your ex shows that you are a different person now. But I am sorry you had to go through all of that.

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  6. Lynda,
    I’m so glad you had someone on the other end of the line, and that you are here today. I too have been suicidal but not because of an unhealthy marriage. It was the childlessness that almost did me in. I am much better now. Still childless, but I have worked on moving forward in life.

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