Sixteen years ago I considered ending my life. A nice Samaritan at the other end of the phone kindly saved me. This will surprise many people I’m sure. I was in a marriage that was so unhealthy for me. I’d reached the stage where I could not consider continuing with it. I was badly in need of stimulation, companionship and much more. I was severely stressed and feeling terribly alone. Everyone seemed to have the one thing I wanted. A loving and stable relationship. This is not to say the man I was married to was a bad man, he was simply very much the wrong man. There are times in life when you really think this will not pass. That it will always be this way. It won’t.
I remember my mother asking if everything was okay as I looked so awful. I said everything was fine. I was on a search for the way out of the marriage but had no money, nowhere to go and nobody to confide in apart from a few friends who didn’t really understand why I was so unhappy with such a kind man. But it doesn’t matter how kind the man seems to everyone else if the relationship is unhealthy then you are desperately unhappy. I don’t feel the need to say in what way it was unhealthy but it was destroying me. There are times in your life when you feel there is no way out. That was my time.
Until … One day I just upped and left. I had nothing. I left everything behind. I started again. It was the hardest but the most rewarding time of my life. I found myself and I eventually found a man the total opposite to the man I had previously married. I rebuilt my life.
Today my ex husband is getting married again and I’m very happy for him. I’m thrilled that he like me has gone on to find happiness with a partner far more suited to him than I ever was. I don’t regret the 19 years we spent together. But sometimes wish I’d found the strength to leave earlier. But there is a time for everything. I may not have met my current husband had it been a different time.
Happy New Year to you all.
Love Lynda xxx