Goodbye 2017 (fun, mishaps, books and some sadness)

Hi everyone,

I hope you had a brilliant Christmas and I’d like to take this opportunity to wish you all a very Happy New Year and I hope it is everything you wish for.

I’m hoping 2018 will see fewer mishaps on my part as I well and truly overdosed on those in 2017. There were far too many faux paus to mention.  The time I fell into the river during a boating trip for example and how my first trip to the new shopping centre in Oxford resulted in John Lewis being evacuated. They are two that I remember but I assure you there have been plenty more. Bringing in Bendy when he was outside fighting, only to discover the cat I brought in wasn’t Bendy at all, was another. Bendy was happily in the kitchen eating his food. He wasn’t quite so content when he realised I had brought in another cat, of course.

Of course, I feel sure that your year was just as eventful.

It was also the year that I lost my lovely mum. So the end of 2017 has been a bit tough.

I released two psychological thrillers in 2017 and the first one ‘Remember Me’ surpassed my expectations and I would like to thank all those who purchased and reviewed it but more on those later.

2017 was also the year I discovered the fabulous craft of Crochet.  There will most certainly be more on that.

 

BOATING

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Now, you might love boating. Me? I’ve gone right off it. In fact I didn’t even want to go boating on this particular sunny day in October. I’m not an experimental person and boating is for the summer. That way, should you fall in the water, which apparently is very rare according to the boat owner, (huh, is all I can say) then you’re not likely to freeze to death if you don’t drown first.

The Doctor (aka my husband and if you want to know why he’s known as The Doctor you may have to refer back to older posts) and my grandson who is aged 7 decided they wanted to go boating. Obviously not wishing to be the killjoy I agreed to go too.

The Doctor hired a canoe for three. We trotted behind the owner who threw it over a wall and beckoned us to get in. Now, I don’t know about you but I prefer to get in and out of a boat when the boat and wall are on the same level as opposed to the wall being two feet higher. But, all was well, as the boat owner held onto the boat for us. It did vaguely cross my mind whether he would be there to hold it when we returned but hey, live in the moment right? So off we went. Now, I hate to admit this, but I can’t swim. At least I can swim but I don’t believe I can swim. That makes perfect sense to me. So, when out boating I’m just a touch anxious. After about forty minutes our grandson had had enough. We headed back. I began looking around for the jetty. You know, that safe place to climb out of a boat where you don’t have to reach up to a wall? There wasn’t one. I casually mentioned it to The Doctor, struggling to keep the anxiety from my voice. He looked around too but not with the same anxious look that I had.  Finally he said ‘We obviously have to get out the same way we got in.’

This did not cheer me.

We made our way to the wall with several OAP’s watching us from the benches on the green.

I suggested grandson get out first (anything to put off getting out myself). We held the boat tight against the wall and he slid out easily. The Doctor looked at me and my stomach lurched. How was I to get myself out of the boat, onto the wall, without the boat rocking? There was no one to hold the boat against the wall. All The Doctor could do was steady the boat. He did his best, I’ll give him that but the minute I shifted my weight to lift myself up onto the wall, the boat tipped over and in I went. Into the icy, dirty river. The Doctor said he tried to reach out to me but the boat toppled and he had to keep it steady. He watched the river calmly (he only does things calmly) and then saw a hand rise out of the water like something from a horror movie. This followed a gasping me who could barely breathe. He grabbed my hand promising never to let go. It did feel like that romantic moment from Titanic (huh, who am I kidding).  Convinced this was the end, I clung onto his hand like it was a life raft. Then, came help in the shape of the OAP’s. Yes, only I could be saved from drowning by OAP’s. I’m not proud of it. I could have given anyone of them a cardiac arrest. I’m no light weight. But they got me out, offered me tea and blankets and were so kind. The owner then came (a bit late you have to agree) and said ‘You’re not the first to go in.’ (huh, he’s changed his tune) We skipped the tea and cake we’d planned for after the boat trip and headed home. The Doctor and grandson were very quiet but I knew they were fighting back their laughter (the rotters). We stopped at the supermarket for chocolate cake and then home where I showered and the boys made tea. I came down from the shower and my grandson said earnestly ‘You know I couldn’t have saved you. I’m only seven and have my whole life to live.’

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I think this was his sweet way of telling me I’m now old. This didn’t help. The chocolate cake soothed things a bit and a few days later I felt much better about it and then grandson came to tell me that I had been his show and tell at school. It was titled ‘When Lynda fell into the river’

It has to rate as my most embarrassing moment so far.

BOOKS

2017 saw the release of ‘REMEMBER ME’ my debut thriller. It did exceptionally well, better than I could have dreamed. It went to number 9 in the US Kindle thriller chart and 99 in overall Kindle in the UK. Thank you so much to all who bought and reviewed it. We got an audio publishing deal for it and you can now buy it as an audio book on Amazon. It’s narrated by the fabulous Rosie Akermen Apparently if you already have it on Kindle you get the audio for a much lower price. The kindle price is now £1.99 You can purchase it here 

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Following on from ‘Remember Me’ I released ‘Hunters Moon’ which has since been re-released as ‘Secrets and Lies.’ and also been given a new cover. This has also been signed up by the audio publishers and will be released in the New Year.  If you loved ‘Remember Me’ then you will certainly enjoy this. It has been described as a flawless thriller but judge for yourself. It is currently 99p/99c You can purchase here

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‘Perfect Weddings’ was also released as an audio book. Purchase here

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‘Wedding Bels’ was re-released yesterday. Originally ‘Croissant and Jam’ It now has a fresh new cover.

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2018 I will release two new novels. One is a comedy romance (a surprising romance) and other a thriller. I can’t say much about them as they are still in progress but I’m sure you will love them. I’m very excited about them and can’t wait to share.

Crochet

Crochet became my big love during 2017 and whenever there was some spare time, then that’s what I did. But this isn’t the blog for that. If you’re interested in crochet and want to join me on my crochet blog then pop over to www.countrycrochet.me  I’ve only written one post but another is due to go up soon. Please join me and share your crochet projects. I’d love to see them.

I lost my mum at the end of the year so the end of the year was certainly tinged with much sadness.

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May you have a HAPPY NEW YEAR .

Please join me on my new Facebook page

https://goo.gl/81zMGt

Much love Lynda xx

 

 

A few ramblings

The Lie
I love you with all my heart and soul,
I still feel your tiny fingers wriggle beneath my own smooth hands.
How I miss you and how I need you.
There is not a day I do not think of you.

You were the most beautiful thing on earth
You were mine and you loved me more than anyone ever has or can.
You were the joy of spring, the pleasure of summer and the comfort of winter.

I held you in my arms and rocked you gently. I wanted to give you the world.
I lived only for you, existed within that dream that is you.
Then, suddenly you are grown and the odour of expensive perfume lingers
Where once there had been a soft milky smell.

You were my dream and nightmare combined
A dream child,
flaxen-haired and blue-eyed.
Then, too soon,
a beautiful woman adorned with confetti.
But, always we have the memories shared.
Summer days, playing happily on the beach.
Twirling in the living room to your favourite pop song.
Experimenting with make-up and high-heeled shoes.
Chuckling like two sisters when would be suitors arrived on the doorstep for you.

Then, all too soon time passes like fast cars on a busy motorway,
And again I am holding a tiny bundle in my arms.
This bundle is not mine but belongs to me just the same.
So, therefore I continue, I will always be remembered.
I was your mother her grandmother and his great-grandmother.
I cannot be forgotten. I am a memory. I am a photo on everyone’s wall.

But of course it is one big lie.
For you did not grow in my womb
But I still smell you and sometimes in my mind I even hold you.
I never bore you or felt you move inside me.
But in my heart you have always existed.

Still, even now, I would sacrifice the rest of my life for one year with you.
You see, without you, I really don’t have a life and never have.

One day, in my life, some unknown force ordained that I would be childless.
I haven’t been, for you have been with me every day and I miss you terribly.
There is so much I want to tell you but most of all I want to say,
I love you and I always will.

For Dave
There is this man that I know,
such a sad sad soul.
I knew this man two years ago,
a different man he was then to know.

A loving wife, a fine home,
they had no reason to moan.
In their life children were not meant to be,
but god gave them each other,
their love shining for all to see.

Then the time came when they got old,
a sad sad story we are to be told.
The loving husband, why him
was the one to suffer this terrible thing?
One day struck down, a stroke it was,
then suddenly for them the warmth of happiness
turned to a cold cold frost.

The illness for them could be overcome
But never again for them the warmth of the sun.
For a few months after this sad event,
the poor wife died and left us all to lament.

The poor man I always knew to be happy
became suddenly the centre of tragedy,
Never to see his home the way it was,
home and wife to him were lost.

What was to become of this lovely man now?
The worry was there, on his face always a frown,
who could have him? Who would care?
With a useless arm and leg, how would he fare?

Suddenly his home was gone,
nothing left for him to see.
After eighty years all that was left was he.
His wife was gone, his home too,
I felt so sad wouldn’t you?

Now he lives in a home for old people.
Visitors he lives to see
but he isn’t like you and me.
We live our lives looking to the future, forgetting the past,
He lives his life each day hoping the next will be his last.

Ramblings

I am unhappy, simple to say, hard to bear

my pain thrust upon by two humans unaware

How to cope, who can help, do I care?

Yes I do.

The tears gush like a fountain beautiful but harsh

the pain is a sword piercing my heart

The nights are lonely, my thoughts drowning in the marsh.

Why don’t you love me, will you ever, or will you never.

Can I blame you, yes I can, because I believed in you.

You lied, they lied, do I now lie?

This is my life, loveless sad, oh how can this be true

All I wanted was love, like you and you and you!

No family, friends few but maybe not true

A lover can I trust? Do I dare

I need you to tell me what to do

If I go on how will I fare?

Life so beautiful and rare

What did I do to deserve you?

A Broken Life

Oh, the dreams, the dreams I clasped to my heart
snatched from me sharply when closed were my eyes.
Oh yes, we know those dreams, the chorus sigh
dreams fragmented and body torn apart.

I am a good failure tis true to say,
shame swirls around me like fog this grey day.
If I could be released to try again,
I would do it right, make good my amends

At school I pass grades with Excellency,
graduate university in style
become glamorous with a high-profile,
I ask you chorus can you still see me.

A man I would marry successfully
and slide easily into pregnancy,
then I am older, content and serene,
this is a dream of how it could have been.

Grown up children swelling my contentment,
.my husband lovingly embracing me
Oh I can hear you lament and lament
this is a dream of how it could have been.

How it really is, this nightmare of mine
no children or education for me
I grew up fast full of adversity,
no sun did shine on University.

Now to achieve what was once out of sight,
there in the mirror someone I can like.

Lynda Renham-Cook